How do you not get sick of me?

so im sitting here in class catching up on emails and getting back to people.....
it seems to be such a constant thing that im soooo bad at doing.
it feels like forever since ive written people on how im doing when really its been like a few weeks.
why does life just seem to contain so much, yet take so much as well?
i feel like im always in the middle of something! that there always is someplace where i feel that i need to voice something..... don't get me wrong tho, i love being able to share out of experience or what i feel God telling me to say!

I was out walking the other morning again and i knew i had a worship session in like an hour... but i was so run down!
i felt like id poured out so much yet didn't really have anything left for myself. I started just crying out to God cause i had no one else to share this with...... i was secretly hoping that he would put on someones heart to come and share with me or encourage me or something in the worship session! but God doesn't always work the way i want him to.... he likes to challenge us, stretch our faith, blow us out of the water in a new way when we least expect it, or want it... we want things simple and "now"

during worship i quickly realized "what the heck am i thinking" why did i suddenly feel the need for others to fulfill me when really, how much more encouragement and fulfillment can God give me! i started to read the bible and the words came to life and i was immediately oblivious to everything around me, nothing else in the world mattered right now. God knew my heart, the way i felt, the things i was going thru and oh how i felt so stupid for entertaining thoughts like this. Kind of like that feeling like, when you really like a girl and you say something so stupid that you think she will just write you off because of!
girls, do you get those feelings too? i doubt it, you are all too perfect... i mean it, really.

Oh God im grateful that you are patient, cause i am not!
i want to learn.