The voice in my head

ha.. we desire so much as young people.
seriously.. think about it for a second! i can count at least five things right now at this point that i truly desire.
To be honest, there a probably only 5 that have been a constant. The rest just come and go.

Im not going to get all preachy and religious....because that isn't my heart.

what does it mean to really desire something... i mean i desire a sweet new acoustic guitar and have done for the last little bit.... i desire to be a kid and go jump on a trampoline again!.... on the other hand, i desire a wife.... i desire love... i desire to live bigger, run, harder, Grow closer to God.
the lines are getting blurry.

at what point do i let go.... and just be, just trust, just wait.

the bible mentions a few times that as we grow closer to gods heart the desires of our heart also become his. and the other way round... when we do his desires become ours..

i woke up this morning super early for this reason.
I had decided to spend some time waiting on God about this!
and as much as i tried to fight getting up... i knew i needed to, to get some better insight on all this.

I desire so much!, but yet he desires so much more.......of me!!
To trust God is a big thing to do... to give up thoughts, feelings, desires.... and lay them down completely and trust that REGARDLESS of outcomes.....he is still holding my hand.
We put our selves out on the line when we do this.... its scary, its hard, we want the world to re-assure us, to comfort us!
but how much more is there for us when God has our heart, our feelings....to mold and grow.

the bible talks a lot about the potter and us being clay.
if we are moldable in his hands... how much better will the outcome be in the end!
Something beautiful.

his timing is perfect
and his plans for us are to prosper
and not to harm.

just some stuff im chewing on at the moment!
as i try to learn to trust.