ive been trying to get up around 6.30 the last couple of weeks.. and what a task its turned out to be!
trying to force routine into life is stinking hard.
This morning i did it tho! well... sort of. i hit snooze twice. but i still made it out before 7 so im proud of myself.
I was out and the sun was shining. the weather is starting to warm up here but i still had jeans on just in case!
I was walking and just talking with God and giving up parts of me i didn't want to! giving him the things im worrying about as we do.
This was the second day ive been out to this park! its nice at 7 in the morning.... crisp.... Yesteday i was there and God prompted me to go out to the middle of the field and just yell..... well.. he told me too.
I questioned this for like 15 minutes... why is it so hard to get over ourselves?
After a good time fighting with God about making a fool of myself i yelled it as quickly and as loudly as i could! JESUS.. in my head that was it i was out of there.
I probably woke up the whole neighborhood. sorry.
So this morning i made the mistake of going there again... to be honest i half expected it to happen again, and without fail. "do it again David"
I didn't fight as much this time.. i still didn't really want to do it tho.
"I want you God" and again "I want you God".
The old guy taking his morning walk is over at the clubhouse is thinking the world is ending "what are kids into these days?" i imaging him saying. ha.
but this kid is getting desperate!! this kid is getting real!
Psalm 34 David says that those who look to God radiate!! they are never covered with shame.
what was i ashamed of? why did i fight giving up myself?
I remember someone saying once that David in the bible had to sometimes just yell "wake up soul" to get over himself and into a deeper level with his relationship with God.
if this is what it takes... im in!
im over me!
in other news im starting writing a lot more for the ep im trying to get out.
its looking to be just a bunch of sweet relevent worship songs and a few love songs thrown in.
im playing around at home just recording some demo's for it all.. picking it apart.. putting it back together again.
we'll see how it goes! i really feel it to be just purely a ministry tool and a stepping stone to telling kids about God and encouraging them to dig deeper with him.
you can pray for me if you ever feel the need!
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